22nd anniversary!

Today is 4 February 2014 and it is my 22nd anniversary.

I did not buy any presents for my husband, not even a card. The thing is I, sort of, given up because over the past years, I was the one who bought presents etc. My husband seemed to remember the significance of the date as he was quizzed while watching television together last night.

This morning my eldest daughter sent me a happy anniversary wish. It was a pleasant surprise coming from my daughter. Ya...which parents expect their children to remember their wedding anniversary. At least I don't. 

As usual, my husband announced that he is leaving for work. Unlike the usual parting kisses and hugs, today is a bit different as he started with a "Happy Anniversary.". It was a string of doa and wishes coming from him but it touched my deepest emotions when he said "semoga dikekalkan jodoh kita dunia dan akhirat." 

Omo...omo...(korean expression rule over my head)...

Yes, we have been married for 22 years. We don't spend so much time together like other couples due to our different favourite past times and tv programmes. I, for one, take it that man prays for the angels to accompany them in the afterlife...heaven insyaAllah. That's why it shook my emotions when he said that to me.

My dearest husband, thank you so very much. I feel honoured and loved. No gifts can substitute the prayer you have uttered this morning. 

Post Lanjut

What I realise coming back from Lanjut is that I really, really need to make an effort at exercising and building up my stamina.

A few weeks ago, my husband and I went to Setia Tropika recreation area. It was good to start exercising again. I was drained running here and there during the treasure hunt. Hence, the resolution.

So, I finally join the morning walk at Pelangi Leisure Mall. I have been eyeing those activities at Pelangi Leisure Mall for a long long time thinking when I'll be part of the people walking there.

I am happy now that I take the step to progress. Taking it easy at the moment. Walk, stretch, brisk walking. Hoping to slow jog soon.

The highlights of the 2011 company annual dinner

I had a lot of mixed feelings about joining the annual dinner organised by the company this year. But I signed up anyway feeling that as the head for Johor, I should be paving the way for all the staff. I couldn't join last year due to a close relative's wedding.

So, off I went on Friday reaching Lanjut Golf and Beach Resort located a few miles north to Kuala Rompin. Our Johor staff who took the bus had reached. Some were still lingering at the reception waiting for their rooms to ready. It was 4.30pm and apparently 4 bus loads of previous occupants had left earlier leaving the housekeeping staff in chaos to ensure rooms are made for the next occupants. My room was available the moment I reached.

Upon registration, Linda, the committee, showed me a flipchart board showing the colour-coded groups for sporting activities on Saturday. I am supposed to the house captain for red team. Wow...I felt I am the underdog because all other house captain are guys. Sports could be second to nothing to them. But, oh well, I am here and I am given the task so I will have to show some leadership. Ok...at least I am comforted by familiar names. There's Linda, Razak, Hadi Ayob, Hadi Sham, Fairuz, Fazlinda, Mazwan, Noor, Shukri, Selamat, Asri who are Johor staff. Radhiff and Puan Jun indicated that they are under instruction not to participate in the games. Oh...ok...I have Mr Mok who could be my assistant.

I proceeded to the pool and met Ir Nazri and a few other people and chat. It was amusing to see Ishraqi and family already enjoying themselves at the poolside. I chatted a bit with them and En Shahrol who just came back from purchasing a pair of sports shoes. Yup...we heard people complaining that they don't know that there'll be sporting events. Oh well....something the committee needs to address in future. Then, off I went to shower and get ready for dinner.

Pleased with my dressing for dinner, I head off towards dinner located at the Billfish Bistro. As I passed the reception, Radhiff said "I've got good news for you...you are to join the directors and Dato CEO for dinner at 8pm at the sea sports cafe." I retreated back to my room and waited again. At last close to 8pm I ventured out again only to spot a few of guys loafing near porch with a view to the sea sports cafe. A few minutes afterwards we saw our Chairman and his wife walking out from their chalet so we joined them and directed them towards Sea Sports Cafe.

I made conversations with Puan Sri for a while until Dato' CEO and wife arrived. To make way for other directors, we joined a few tables and sat among managers. Dinner was meat, seafood, At 9pm, we excused ourselves to join the staff briefing. The briefing was in progress as we entered the room. I make my way to the back of the room. Briefing of the next day's itinerary was made and the teams were asked to go to their respective groups.

As the Red Team House Captain, I had to take the lead. So, team members were invited to participate in giving their ideas of the name. Long and behold, the team decided on "The Red Warriors". Fiery in spirit like the dragon in the ancient Chinese, merah menyala semangat waja as sung in the Jalur Gemilang...all the attributes of a warrior.

We proceeded to draw our house flag. At the centre, a shield with a dragon, crossed swords and wings on both sides marking the warriors always armed to battle their way and ready to shield themselves from enemies. It was an impressive design much credit to our graphic designer and hard work to colour by the rest of the warriors...we all loved it. Each team had to brief the names that they have selected and the design of their flag.

Orange team called themselves D'Orange but much to our chagrin their orange became halloween pumpkin over crossed pirates bones.

Green team named their team Eco Warriors. A sight of a flat top mountain with the lanjut "money tree" in the centre.

Blue team donned 1Biru promoting harmony among all. They challenge to meet the next day to prove themselves.

Last but not least, the Red Team with pride announcing to all that we are the Red Warriors with warriors fighting spirit and I explained the various elements on the flags. At the end, I mentioned that whatever it is that the others may say, let's see what happened the next day.

D-Day 15 October 2011

It was a hot gruelling day as we battled the morning with league beach soccer, beach volleyball and tug of war. 3 rounds of 10 minutes of league beach soccer were enough to drain the team as there was only a handful of us. It was great to win the first game. We were high spirited after we won tug of war which made the Red Warrior winning 2 out of 3 games. I left the team before beach volleyball started to get some mineral water and 100 plus for the Red Warrior and when I came back the team only managed 3rd placing.

We came back at almost 2.30pm for treasure hunt. We have to gather 6 clues altogether and a few items according to the organiser. Luckily, we have a team member from Lanjut Resort itself to direct us after we decipher the clue. So, from the sea sports cafe, we ran to Casuarina to find our second clue. Then it was the buggy area to spot the 3rd clue. Then to the old runway area. We spent longer time here as we brought to the organiser only a tyre and expecting to receive a clue yet we were told the clues are at the runway area. Off we went back. So fourth clue obtained we ran to decipher the next one which was supposed to be located at a gent's toilet. The guys rummaged through the gent's toilets near the reception then headed to the gent's toilet next to the bistro. We were confused and suddenly one of the team member who couldn't participate and was looking on led us to the garbage bin outside the toilet. We rummaged through the garbage and there they were our clue together other teams' clues torn into two. We read through our clue. But we did not need to get the 6th clue as our team member from Lanjut had found it earlier. So, with all 6 clues, we ran to the organiser located at the flying fox area. It was sweet victory to be the only team who manage to complete the Treasure Hunt. Huhu...pat at the back team. 3 out of 4 games.

By then, we knew we would be the overall champion so I was contemplating to walk over paintball. Since there are team members who wanted to continue with paintball, I let them choose the game of their choosing. I have always wanted to try flying fox and I waited there. The rest of my team members went for a game of paintball and they actually won. How exhilirating! We won 4 out of 5 games.

Dinner started late from what supposed to be at 7.30pm. A few of us were getting grumpy because registration was supposed to be at 6.30pm yet hardly a few tables were full by 7.30pm. Anyway, it was exciting to be entertained by the Johor staff who put up great performances.

The zapin, joget and ketchup song.

The prize giving for the games was one of the highlights as I received the prizes for the team one after the other. Also for the overall champion. I beemed with pride for being the lady house captain the underdog who won....accepting the challenge trophy but I realised it was the hardwork of the Red Warriors who kept the spirit of fighting. Yes, we definitely had fun and that was one of the highlight of my day.

My next highlight came when they turned the room to total darkness and Jamal Abdillah came in with his rendition of Kekasih Awal dan Akhir.....thereafter, 5 - 6 more songs. Boy....that was entertaining as I've not been to a live show for ages. I really enjoyed the concert with Sheila Majid once upon a time.

That summed up the highlights of the company annual dinner for me. The others may have their own version but that could be in their blog. Others have given a lot of feedbacks about food and prizes but I just want to walk away with remembering those two. I didn't want to attend in the first place but since I did, I made the most out of it and that's what matters to me.

Que sera sera!

Hospital - still a depressing place to be!

I have just came back from visiting Pak Nawar, my sister-in-law's father-in-law. It was a dreadful experience to me.



My husband and I came from the front entrance of the Hospital Sultanah Aminah. Pak Nawar is located at Block Dahlia, the block at the back of the old hospital in red. The route leading to back was closed so we settled to one of car park in front and walk through to the back.



As we passed the old block and walked towards Block A and B, my heart felt heavier and became more strifling. The thought of passing Block C and to the memories that would come flooding back to the last place where I met mak was troubling me. Ya Allah! How I dread being here and be reminded like this.



Just a few meters away from Block C, Pak Su stood up acknowledging our visit. Mak Su was there as well as Nabil and Arina and a few of Pak Su's siblings. After a few exchanges, we headed towards Block Dahlia to the topmost level. As we rode the lift, I told Mak Su that it was stressful for me to be in this hospital.



Pak Nawar is placed in the High Dependency Unit (HDU) ward. Again, I was reminded of mak. She was supposed to be placed at the HDU ward after she was transferred from Johor Specialist. When it came to my turn to see Pak Nawar, we entered the room and there Pak Nawar was hooked on a ventilator with bruised arms which I just assumed to be the case of the nurses couldn't find his vein to start a line.



All in all, it was a stressful visit. Hospital is still a depressing place to be whether just for a quick visit and even worst if you have to be hospitalised. So, let's be mindful to live a healthy life and pray for our continued good health.

Doa mohon kesihatan tubuh badan

Ya Allah kurniakanlah kesihatan pada tubuh badan hamba, Ya Allah kurniakanlah kesihatan pada pendengaran hamba, Ya Allah kurniakanlah kesihatan pada penglihatan hamba, Ya Allah hamba berlindung kepadaMu dari kesengsaraan azab kubur, tiada Tuhan melainkan Engkau.

Amin Ya Rabbal Al Amin.

Syawal is here!

Alhamdulillah, Muslims have completed fasting and the end of Ramadhan. Syawal is a month of celebrating the month-long completion. Yet I felt numb. Given the choice, I would rather not celebrate. But how could that be when raya songs are playing almost everyday. In fact, tv programmes are all on raya celebration.

As my husband has earlier on reminded me, it is a year of sadness for us. This raya, my beloved mother is no longer with us. A few normal routines differed this year. We used to at least break fast once with the entire family. However, we did that with Abang Mi's family and abah at their house in Kulai about a week before raya. I would, in the previous year, take leave two days before raya to accompany mak to the market for raya preparation. This year I started my leave a day before raya and cooked together with Kak Midah.

I arrived at about 3pm at my parent's place that day. In the previous years, if I do not reach there in the morning, I can expect to receive a call from mak hastening me to quickly reach Kg Melayu. We only started cooking about 4.30pm and only by 6.20pm we realise that there's nothing to eat for break fast. This would not have happen if mak was around. We would have completed cooking a few raya dishes and eat by then. She would have been prepared.

First day of raya, we have also changed our routine. After raya prayers, we siblings would gather and visit our relatives in Sg Sayong, then to Aziz's mother in law's place, Kak Midah's in laws and Kak Midah's place. But this year, after Friday prayers we visited mak's grave. We skipped Sg Sayong, Ulu Tiram,went to Kak Midah's in law and Ungku Faridah's place. My children were puzzled as to who this Ungku Faridah is. I had to explain all the connection when we traveled the next day.

The positive part of this raya is that I see us siblings working together in trying to celebrate this raya together by cooking the dishes. We still maintain our beraya together.

It would never be the same again for I have lost my beloved mother. I have avoided sitting at the place I used to sit at the dining table for it reminded me that mak would be sitting at the end of the table observing us eat. We would say "Mak, why don't you eat with us?" She would say "Never mind, you go ahead". In a while, her appetite would arise and she would start eating. How I miss her!

On the first day of raya Uchu said to me that it was as if mak is in the room resting. Yes, I relate to that. I, myself, imagine hearing the sound of her slippers moving about the house. I close my eyes and I can visualise her!

There are countless moments that remind me of her and I must say again that I really really miss her.

Syawal is here and it is far cry from celebration!

AlFatihah buat ibundaku tercinta. Semuga rohmu sentiasa tenang serta dicucuri rahmat dan diterangi kuburmu.

Amin Ya Rabbal alamin.

Ramadhan Ya Ramadhan!

It's the 11th day of Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah, I have been able to perform fasting up to today. For the past 11 days, I am constantly reminded of how lucky I am to be given the opportunity to fast and insyaAllah, to still gain some "pahala" with the special prayers performed only in Ramadhan.

My thoughts keep on going to Mak for the past few nights. She wanted to fast last Ramadhan. She only managed to do so for the first few days before she collapsed due to low sugar level and was advised not to. So, she did not fast for the rest of Ramadhan.

I recalled the time when she was admitted to the ICU of Johor Specialist Hospital. The time she wanted to speak to me but could not be heard because of the tube in her mouth. She gave hand signal but I just did not know how to decipher. I was exasperated and cried.

Who would have known that last Ramadhan was her last. The same goes to all of us. None of us know when we would be called to meet our creator. I am 44 this year and even if I may not have diabetes or high blood pressure like Mak and Abah but there is no guarantee that I would reach 70 just like them.

With such realisation, I remind myself that I have to improve my spiritual obligations for I may not be able to see next Ramadhan again!

Ya Allah! Hambamu bermohon agar janganlah dijadikan Ramadhan ini yang terakhir buatku! Amin!

There is only you, Mak, forever and ever!

A tribute to mak who returned to Rahmatullah on 22 Jamadilawal 1431 or 7 May 2010. For certain reasons, I have removed photos of mak not wearing hijab.

She was such a beautiful woman when she was young.

Interest

She loved traveling. Been to London and performed hajj twice.

Friendship

When we were staying in Singapore before Abah retired from Police Reserve Unit (PRU), Makcik Minah (top) and Makcik Nyah (bottom) were two of her good buddies.

Spiritual

She completed her first Hajj in 1989. I recalled crying my heart out after reading Abah's letter. Sounded like a will when he told me to take care of Uchu if anything should happen to them then.

Community

Mak was active in her Yassin Group. It was good to have friends and be with the community.

Family

Her husband and companion for life for more than 50 years. Picture taken during Raya 2008.

This bright and lovely picture was taken from Raya 2007 with Aziz and family. It's her smile that I want to capture.

2009 was her last Raya with us. With all the children and grandchildren except for brother Azman and family. The missing five are Azman,Caroline, Amy, Tony Azli and Wayne Jailani.

Since our family colour was turquiose blue last year, I decided that it'll be good to buy both mak and abah a new pair of baju raya. Turned out to be her last!

Forever and ever

Mak, you will always be loved and in my prayers! I miss and love you so much!

Ya Allah Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Mengasihani, kasihanilah Ibubapa kami sebagaimana mereka mengasihani kami sewaktu kami masih kecil. Ringankanlah azab seksa kubur ibuku, Ya Allah, terangi kuburnya, Ya Allah, cucuri Rahmatmu, Ya Allah dan tempatkanlah dia bersama-sama orang-orang yang beriman!

Amin, Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin!