There is only you, Mak, forever and ever!

A tribute to mak who returned to Rahmatullah on 22 Jamadilawal 1431 or 7 May 2010. For certain reasons, I have removed photos of mak not wearing hijab.

She was such a beautiful woman when she was young.

Interest

She loved traveling. Been to London and performed hajj twice.

Friendship

When we were staying in Singapore before Abah retired from Police Reserve Unit (PRU), Makcik Minah (top) and Makcik Nyah (bottom) were two of her good buddies.

Spiritual

She completed her first Hajj in 1989. I recalled crying my heart out after reading Abah's letter. Sounded like a will when he told me to take care of Uchu if anything should happen to them then.

Community

Mak was active in her Yassin Group. It was good to have friends and be with the community.

Family

Her husband and companion for life for more than 50 years. Picture taken during Raya 2008.

This bright and lovely picture was taken from Raya 2007 with Aziz and family. It's her smile that I want to capture.

2009 was her last Raya with us. With all the children and grandchildren except for brother Azman and family. The missing five are Azman,Caroline, Amy, Tony Azli and Wayne Jailani.

Since our family colour was turquiose blue last year, I decided that it'll be good to buy both mak and abah a new pair of baju raya. Turned out to be her last!

Forever and ever

Mak, you will always be loved and in my prayers! I miss and love you so much!

Ya Allah Tuhan Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Mengasihani, kasihanilah Ibubapa kami sebagaimana mereka mengasihani kami sewaktu kami masih kecil. Ringankanlah azab seksa kubur ibuku, Ya Allah, terangi kuburnya, Ya Allah, cucuri Rahmatmu, Ya Allah dan tempatkanlah dia bersama-sama orang-orang yang beriman!

Amin, Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin!

How was your Mother's Day celebration?

Lucky for me, nobody asked me that very question. I guess most of my friends and colleagues know. I spent Mother's Day this year at my mum's cemetery reciting Yasin and prayers for her soul to be spared for the questions posed as Allah had promised and for her soul to be included among the faithful ones!

Looking back to a few hours before she passed away, I,in the presence of my elder sister, had ever so confident said to the liver specialist that we were prepared to let her go.

Apparently, it was easier said than done as the reality that I am facing is a far cry from that statement. To this very day, even though I am a lot calmer, I feel the emptiness, a void in the heart...unlike the time someone broke your heart.

To console myself, I keep on reminding myself of this:
Apabila matinya anak Adam, akan ada 3 perkara yang boleh menolongnya secara berterusan:
1) Amal jariah
2) Ilmu yang dimanfaatkan
3) Doa anak yang soleh

Mak, I will continue to pray and doa for you whether or not I fall under the category of "anak yang soleh". You have loved me and my children unconditionally...I love you and will always love you.


The following is my draft writing while waiting to pick Aishah up at school for outing 2 weeks before Mother's Day.

"9th May is coming soon! Some are in the know while others may be ignorant of the fact that 9th May is the widely celebrated Mother's Day! So, which category do you fall..the know or the ignorant?

Some might say what's the big deal? We should celebrate our mothers every day of the year..regardless. We have given unconditional love in return for all the sacrifices that a mother has given throughout her life.

Well, the fact that people always forget, they tend to take mothers for granted is the reason that a day has been selected to commemorate Mother's Day. A day to celebrate mother and a day for a mother's spirit to be recharged and reminded of her purpose in life. It is also a day to remind children to always appreciate and show their gratitude and love towards their mother.

So, what would be the best gift a mother can expect from a child? Something material? Say jewelry, a spa travel package, some trendy kitchen, home gadgets, cake, flowers or a simple expression of love from their children. It depends really on how well you know your mother.

As a mother, I want to always be showered with the demonstration of love from my children. Kiss me, hug me and tell me you would miss me whenever I am not around. I would love to be pampered as well. A once in the while coffee or food for me would be great. Can't deny how elated I would be to receive a set of white gold jewellery set or be sent off to unwind at aspa retreat or that iphone people been bragging about. You know what? I am being realistic..so I won't be expecting much this coming Mother's Day!

What about my mum? you asked. My mother is in the hospital at the moment. At this rate, it seems to me like my mother might spend mother's day in the hospital. Started off with high blood pressure then diabetes until she uncovered that she also has liver chirrosis. She fell a couple of times and ended up with a leg implant recently and has never recovered well since.

This time round, she was gasping for breath and sent to emergency unit of Hospital Sultanah Aminah. So many people were sick that day with no ventilation machine available. I can imagine a scene from Grey's Anatomy, with interns manually pumping. We found a hospital that has ventilator available and called an ambulance to transfer her to Johor Specialist Hospital(JSH). We were told to face a possibility of losing her before she reached JSH. I called my sister and told her to come back and gave her the task of informing the other siblings in kl.

Thank God, after 7 days of being in ICU, my mother is now in High Dependency Unit. I hope she continues improving. I bet this Mother's Day she will be happy if all her children are by her side giving her all the attention she needs.

Well..that's me and my mother. What about you? Go celebrate your mother every day of her life and this Mother's day with something additional to boost her day."


I was by my mother's side when she left us. I was devastated but seeing Abah having an even tougher time accepting my mother's death reminded me of this saying "when you feel terrible, look at others who are in worser condition than you".

Under the weather!

Gee..feeling under the weather isn't great at all, is it? Starting off the week after a long weekend was great but truthfully I am bored once the weekdays started. Things haven't gone my way that much and the frustration is building up.

I've seen my children write on their blogs and felt I want to try as well. Also remembering how my husband used to say "since you read a lot, why don't you start writing." So, here goes...words of "aziemat". They would be my words..whatever they are..be it good or bad. I hope in time to come, the words of aziemat would turn to words of wisdom.

Wallahualam!